That's life.

Its been ages since I wrote. But well, too much had been going on. The break ups, the fights, the crying and the hurting. Where should I even start ? I still love him. with all my heart. Thankfully, with God's grace, we're still happily together, after a nightmare of pain and accusation. Somehow, I lost my friends. Never really expected it. but it happened. They were so close. Now i'm just an ordinary person to them. It hurts so badly. I mean, they jumped into conclusion and didn't put themselves in my shoes. But i guess now they're better off. Going on vacations and grouping without me. Am I that monsterous ? Its a lonely life. But it still has to go on :)

Through sickness and hell :( *sigh*

After Easter, when I came back, things just got worst. I fell terribly sick. like never before. I mean, I had a bad cough and all. The second day was seriously scary! I couldn't breathe. Although my roomie was right there, somehow I just felt that I have to seek for my friends first. So I went to Yin yin and asked her to accompany me to the clinic. I cried. I felt so weak. The doctor said I have asthma. WTH? Impossible! Anyway, I was asked to inhale some oxygen thingy and I was feeling all better. Headed back to campus. Thank you YIN YIN for accompanying me. I know you had lots of work to do. Sorry for disturbing though :( Then 2 hours later, oh god! again! I couldn't breathe. and it was worse. i cried and cried. i called my mum. i wished she was there at that time. anyway, i couldn't take it. My roomie called the warden and he rushed me to the hospital. and i inhaled the thing again. After everything, it was just an infection of the lungs. that caused me to have respiratory problem. i wanted to get home so bad! i knew my dad was worried. he kept calling. and he was willing to come all the way to Johor to pick me up. my mum refused. I fought with her. :( but thank god she understood and we got better :D i love my mum! and my dad! XD

Vacation! ^_^

Kayyell menjerit baby! LOL. yeah. we headed to KL on the 16th of April. 7 of us,Pin Ting, Yin Yin, Xiao Ling, Li Wen, Pei Shan and Zi Hoong. Vivian was supposed to come but she had some injuries and was disqualified :( it was a vacation planned long ago for my birthday actually. and so we went. we stayed at Bukit Bintang area. Times Square was just around the corner. Duh! it is like 'the most happening' place in KL. my boyfie tagged along. it felt weird though. cause he was like the only guy with 7 girls. but it was fun! we walked a lot. i think i lost a few kg. I might just disappear next if i walk there again. haha. it was actually his birthday (16 april). that night, i bought a piece of chocolate indulgence cake from Secret Recipe. i surprised him with it. he almost teared. it was the first time i'm seeing him being so touched over something. he never expected it i guess. then we both went out with his friends (surya, navin kaur and vani). went to the clubs around there. all had cover charge. so we scraped the idea of clubbing. i was like, thank god! wanna know why? i was wearing a freaking pair of slippers. only a jackass would wear slippers to a club.lol. so we switched to just chilling at a bar called... Modesto i think. Right next to Aloha club. I had a ladies' drink called Screwdriver. It was like orange juice with a punch of alcohol in it and a cherry on top. nice :) (although i was wanting Baileys at that time :/) we came back to the hotel around 3 am. next day, we went around the area. i bought a pair of heels. and its super long heels. i felt tall for once :D he and me went bowling. for the first time together. he won :( and that was about it. it was a tiring trip. packed LRTs and smelly people around. but worth the try :) looking forward for the next vacation! ~toodles~

                            Xiao Ling getting excited as we were reaching KL :P

                    Cosmos World! I wanna go next! *although I've been there twice* :D

                            My next option in case TESL lets me down XD

                                      Banana pancake! yum yum!

                                   It was a nice shot so I uploaded :P

                           I'm bringing sexy back! :S

 The super 7! :)

Birthday Bash! =D

Well well well, what should I say? My 19th birthday= the best I ever had! Teehee! XD Sharp 12 midnight, the messages and calls kept coming in. it was too much for me to handle. gosh! the first to wish me, my baby boy :) he's  such a sweetheart <3 Then 15 minutes later, a knock on my door. TA DA! Xiao Ling and Vivian stood in front of me, and then from at the back, the whole gang suddenly appeared! they gave me a shock! LOL. they sang a birthday song to me, it was so sweet. but still i almost had an attack :/ the day went by. my parents and brothers wished me. deep inside, i felt like i was torn apart. it was my first birthday without them. i cried. i did. but that's life right? :( even my grandparents were not around to bless me as they're in a better place now. anyway, the best part was at night. my friends took me out for dinner to have bak kut teh. one of my favourite :) not just that, they made a video for me. it was so touching. they even took the initiative to put in a short video of my boyfriend's personal message to me. i owe them big time! it really made my day :D after getting back to the hostel, another surprise! my roomie and the indian girls bought me a cake and they all sang to me too. i was pretty shocked. i received lots of gifts that day. A Giordano t-shirt(Xiao ling & vivian),a handphone hanging thingy(uma),a photo frame (rubini), a dress (hema), and of course, the awesome posum video(pei shan)! XD i felt much appreciated that day.from the bottom of my tiny weenie heart, i'd like to say thank you so much everyone for completing my 19th birthday! love you'll to bits <3

                                                  My birthday cake :)

A heartache no one will understand =(

There's never a day that goes by where I'm not hurt, somewhere in my tiny lil heart. I don't know where to start. I hate teaching. that's my point. So not my profession. But how do I speak out to my parents? The never listened to me anyway. Everyone thinks I'm happy as how I look. but no! Trust me, if you could feel me heart, its beating to the sound of pain. I just wanna break free for once. be appreciated. nothing I ever did made my parents proud. that includes all the medals I bring back every year. its all just sleeping at home.waiting to be noticed. I fake a smile so that they think I'm happy. I mean, which child would ever wanna see their parents sad because of them right? But somehow, everything I do is wrong. Especially to my mum. I've tried being her friend. but i always have the feeling like i'm a burden to her. there was so many times that i cried all to myself, blaming the whole thing on me. for not being the kind of child my parents wanted me to be. and no one knew. as usual. i couldn't talk about it to anyone as i never had done that before.i was brought up that way. keeping my feelings inside. i'm a good listener to my friends. but i'm not much of an expresser. most of the time, i even feel that my boyfriend doesn't appreciate me. i mean i know he loves me a lot. but he takes everything as a joke. he says i that i brag, i'm miss-know-it-all, i'm miss-everything-right and so on. but thats just not me. i just do things to make him be proud of me, just once:( but still, as i said everything i ever do seems to be so wrong. even the lecturers don't like me much. god knows what reason. i mean it can't be because i can't speak tamil right? oh god! life is a bitch! more like a slut! when's it gonna be like heaven? so many regrets, so many heartbreaks. haih. thats all for now. ~peace out~

Another Jalapeno!

Sensational! XD

What more can I say? I've been such a moron these days! Heeeee! I miss home.like seriously. wish i could just pack my back and walk away. *sigh* This week was pretty awesome. group study at McD almost everyday! lol.although i'm effin broke :( always thought life sucked. but i guess not anymore. to think about it, you just gotta appreciate of what you have :) and life gets amazingly awesomer! been so long since i blogged. maybe because i never really knew how to till xiao ling taught me ( dumb right? ^_^ ) gotta go now! study study study! :/ ~peace out~

Been ages since i've blogged!